The first time she did it,
She was so scared but oddly enough, also excited,
She can remember it like it was yesterday,
There was a lot more blood than she’d expected, but the feeling, the feeling of the pain was much more than she could explain, she’d forgotten what it was like to feel something, anything really. She savoured every moment of that feeling, who knew when she’d get another chance to feel again.
Over time, she got better at it, she didn’t have to press the blade too hard to get the anticipated result, she knew where to cut to get the most pain.
It no longer has the same effect now though, she can slowly feel the numbness creeping back in. She has to find a new form of release.